Express Yourself
Life and Relationship stylist is all about coaching individuals to communicate to learn to express themselves to others without fear, anxiety, or guilt. Individuals with social anxiety often feel afraid to speak with others to avoid being judged for what they share and how they sound sharing it. Some people may feel guilty about sharing things that could hurt someone’s feelings, so they remain quiet. Others are silent to avoid becoming frustrated because people may not understand them. And some are silent to avoid conflict. As a Relationship Coach, I want to help others develop positive communication skills to learn to express themselves while creating healthy boundaries with others.
I’ve learned that the failure to express yourself keeps you out of a healthy relationship (Stewart, 2009, pg. 221). Because of my past, communicating with others was hard for me to do. I did not want to be open or disclose information about myself to others. I feared that I would be judged or laughed at because of my perception of things, issues, or content I wanted to share. I presumed that others would not respect or like me if they knew my actual thoughts/feelings. Today, I still pick and choose who I disclose information to because it is essential to discern what you share to who you share. Expressing yourself can help you keep in touch with your feelings, alleviate stress, and make others aware of how you’re feeling. Holding emotions can cause you to become bitter, angry, or develop inappropriate behaviors.
Two reasons why you should express yourself!!!
Being able to express how you feel might help others develop healthy relationships and alleviate stress.
1. Express yourself to create healthy relationships.
When you don’t disclose information about yourself or express your feelings, you deny others a chance to know and understand you. Stewart (2009) states that the first step to expressing yourself is finding your sense of entitlement to speak up. Healthy relationships are created when you communicate with others in a positive tone/manner. The benefit of self-disclosure is that it improves the quality of relationships and allows you to validate your perception of reality. You deepen your relationship with others by sharing reactions, feelings, personal information, and confidences with your peers (Stewart, 2009, p. 214).
2. Prevent stress and adversities
You can alleviate stress when you express yourself by verbalizing, journaling, or being active. You can manage stress and adversity by speaking up for yourself and letting people know how they hurt you. Once you learn to express yourself effectively, you learn to create healthy boundaries and teach people how to treat you. We often keep our emotions to ourselves because we want to avoid conflict, hurting others’ feelings, avoid rejection, etc. But the importance of expressing yourself is to feel emotionally and mentally healthy.
Reflection
Over the years, I have learned that I need to have a voice if I want people to respect, appreciate, and understand me. To keep a healthy relationship with my peers, I needed to express and disclose information about myself in a positive, appropriate, and effective tone/manner. Colossians 4:6 (ESV) says Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. God wants us to have a proper, productive, and respectful conversation with every person we may converse with. When conflict occurs, we must develop positive communication to resolve those issues. Moreover, God does not want us to be ashamed or afraid to express ourselves. He wants us to speak up for ourselves and develop a voice to advocate for others who cannot.
If you need help developing communication skills or productive ways to express yourself, interact with others, create boundaries, or resolve conflicts reach out to Coach Brittany with Life and Relationship Stylist at www.lifeandrelationshipstylist.net/contact.
References
Stewart, J. R. (2012). Bridges not walls: a book about interpersonal communication. New York:
McGraw-Hill